Thus guy is having a 12-coffee day, how is your day going?
After his 13th cup he will get a meeting invite from his manager and HR to share some news with him. Prioritize your health and your family folks. No one gives a shit how hard you worked, you are just another worker bee making some filthy rich fucks richer
That’s nice. My HR recommends improving health by doing yoga at home and making a better personal spending plan.
Not a raise though. Just figure out how to spend less.
There was a dangerous point in my bartending career…
I worked at a fancy restaurant, and they bought a super fancy (like $35k) automatic espresso machine, that ground the beans to order and everything, with a touch screen.
I accidentally discovered that, if I got a little grease on my finger before telling it to make me a double shot, after it poured one, it would think my finger was still on the button, and immediately start pouring another.
So I would make a pint of espresso each evening for espresso martini, and then a quart for myself.
Wait, how’s that different from just making yourself 2 double shots?
A quart would be 16 2oz double shots.
Oh, shit, yeah, that’s different. But I meant, how does the machine thinking you were still pressing it make a difference?
that’s like 6 peepee trips minimum
It’s not the peepee that gets you, it’s the loosey-deucey that follows.
Do you work for Cloudflare by chance?
Coffee increased heartrate, like exercise, but does not open up arteries, unlike exercise, so when you drink a lot of coffee it’s like making your heart pound against a wall for hours.
Make sure you get up and do regular stretching.
Pee breaks for that
Heart problems incoming
I start having headaches, and shaking after 4.
When you hit that wall you just power through and get your second wind.
It’s because you’ve started vibrating, but you’re not yet at healthy idle revs, like a Datsun 120Y just started on a cold morning. Another 2 coffees and you’ll be purring just right. 6 more and would actually have conscious control over the vibrational energy of the electrons in your body, and you’ll be able to phase right through solid objects, like plate glass, if you run fast enough.
And a regular Coke to take the edge off, I guess?
This is how you get spitters in left for dead
I used to abuse caffiene / coffee to an extreme. I had an espresso machine at home, and another in my office, and there were MANY days where was drinking more than 32 oz of espresso in a day. Most of my gastrointestinal issues can be directly attributed to this behavior. I don’t suggest this to anyone.
That being said, I still can enjoy cold brew, and my morning ritual is a big tumbler with 1 cup cold brew , 1 cup water, 1 cup oat milk, and ice. That gets me through most days. I also do break it up where i switch to tea for extended periods.
Dear god my heart hurts looking at this.
Like… 8?
This guy poops
Looks exactly like whatever random anonymous “hoteling” office I might occupy on a given day. Corporate America sucks.
